Here is what comes up
• Reveal
• Own
• Master
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Reveal means sharing with those who are affected.
You can reveal your shadows or reveal those you see in others
When revealing other's shadows, you can say something like "Here is what I perceive in your actions..."
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Own them means accepting that you have them, use them, play with them.
You accept that you are not a victim in this game and take responsibility for how you use your shadows.
You take responsibility rather than positioning yourself as a victim.
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Mastering your shadows or other people's shadows means identifying and applying the best tactic to master, tame, eliminate, suppress, block, use, dissolve these shadows.
Once you identify the best tactic, you start taking actions in alignment with these tactics
You see, once you own them, you can respond in so many ways.
If you find the right tactic, this tactic is of no use if you don't start applying it through consistent action.
Suppose that you have been very aggressive with someone, you can
• Apologize and practice active kindness
• Let it go
• Use aggressiveness even more
• Tell them they deserve it
• Be really turned on by your aggressiveness
• Not bother with any of these and simply do what feels right in the moment
• Tame your aggressiveness by taking a martial art class
• Etc.
See?
Many possible responses!
You might be the giver of the shadow.
Or you might the the receiver of the shadow.
Whatever your position, you will want to identify the best tactic to master the expression of this shadow and start applying.
For instance if you are the receiver of theaggressiveness you might:
• Leave when aggression kicks in
• Stay totally passive
• Fight back
• Prevent it by avoiding trigger behaviors