Imagine that you have a lover and that you end up blaming each other back and forth.

It seems like a broken record of ongoing complaints, resentment and criticism for each other.

It happens both ways.

What do you do?

Here are some options:

  • Voice what you feel but do it in a safe container
  • Stop complaining and give only positives for a while
  • Take distance from each other
  • Call for help, pray
  • Use a mediator or therapy
  • Enjoy the fights and charged discussions
  • Stay silent, feel everything
  • Release through dynamic practices
  • Use vital fights to release tensions
  • Use sex
  • Transcend it
  • Use the friction as juice 
  • Build up positive energy 
  • Leave, abandon the couple and shift partner
  • Take time to share in depth and in detail
  • Ask for permission before sharing or offering feed back. Use a timer to contain the intensity of the sharing
  • Use "I" statements rather than interpreting what the other thinks or generalizing.
  • Etc
Right now, I am exploring these deep emotional solutions 

The path that opens up is a clear, sharp and powerful emotional response.

You can see the blame game as a depressed couple mode or simply a place where deep embedded patterns are triggered.

Is building positive energy and only saying positive things the way to go?

Well in the same way as an individual gas self talk a couple or relationship
spirit has self talk too.

It means that a story develops.

You feed that couple energy with endless complaints and resentment.

That's what you get back!

This means that you create your reality!


In many ways, the expression "stepping out of blame game might not be appropriate.

Does it work to suppress, let go or not voice frustrations?

Does it work better to simply activate positive energy and simply see negative energies dissolve?

When you build positive energy, more power is given to the good things.


The release techniques can be used partnered or individually.

With vital fights, verbal fights can be used in a safe container.

If you are trapped in the fight, blame, complain, unhappy zone, what is the exact practice, technique, communication tool, energy build up
approach that will use the friction zone and turn that into energy and deeper connection?

That's the real question!

Guidance please!

About Shiva Rajaya

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