How to deal with criticism, judgement or false accusations - ARTICLE

This is something you can face in the workplace, relationships, social life and so on.

Here are some pointers to deal with these challenges.

Train a new emotional response

You can feel offended and get super defensive or you can stay cool and simply calmly answer the questions that are directed to you.

You train a new response via role play or simply practicing it live.

Reassure people

Sometimes, that's all they need. Suppose your boss challenges you. You can answer with: "You know, I totally understand that you ask this question because that's something I am concerned about myself. I totally get you and I know how important this is to you"

You see, instead of opposing them, you take their side.

Build your case

If people criticize you on life style choices for instance, take the position of a lawyer defending a case or making it. You can say things like: "Here is the information I have concerning that... In a study I recently read, they say that..."


Listen! Get more information about what they say. They might have a point and their feedback could be an opportunity to better your skills or optimize an aspect of your life.

Ask follow up questions

Follow up questions can look like:
  • Tell me more
  • So what you are saying is... Do I get you right?
  • How does that make you feel when I do that?
  • What do you think I should do about this?
  • What do you suggest?
  • Etc.
    Remove the emotional load

    When you react with strong emotions and fight back, it triggers conflict. You can stay respectful and practice answering in calm ways.

    Build up your inner power and confidence

    A criticism can be an attack on your confidence. If your level of power is low, you are usually very sensitive to arrows thrown at you. You can develop power and confidence and stay on top of these attacks, untouched by practicing powerful presence and self confidence. Again, that's a skill you can train.

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